I'm still not fully sold on the script. However, at this point it may be a matter of taste, to quote Collis. I think you're dialogue is still abit forced at times. However, I'm glad you filled out more of the journal. I honestly believe with some tweaks this script good lend to a great film. I know out everyone you can definitely pull off a great horror, slasher genre piece. Hopefully, you're casting goes well. You're actors will be extremely important for this to work.
I see you kept the same script, and I agree with Liz. I know that it's hard to make changes but honestly I think you should consider some of the previous feedback. Nonetheless, I do believe you have a solid vision for what you want to do. After looking over your journal, I think you are really sure of what the look of the movie is and what you want your characters to look like. Your constant example of fight club and the saw movies, makes me believe that you are aiming for a highly stylized movie. However, I think you have to remember your goal of making your audience feel excited and then scared in the end as it says in your FMJ. I think that using these elements of cinematography can possibly cause your audience to not feel those emotions, but rather make your audience feel as if saying "what the heck is up with that dude?".
I am in the same boat as Jesus and Liz I am not fully sold, but it is just like I said before it will all be determined based on execution. I mean just because i am not sold doesnt mean that it cant be a great film, but i feel like i said before that the film is standing on a sharp edge and if done correctly could be brilliant but if not could be a major catastrophe. Seeing as how you have basically decided what you want to do at this point i would just say plan wisely and thoroughly, and also remember how important proper casting and not doing adr are going to be to this film (referencing issues with you directing film).
Turbo, Looking at your FMJ, I can definitely see what you are going for and if you can pull that off I think that your short could be pretty good, but I think it is going to take the combination of the script, the production design and cinematography to really make this short come alive. Your script still needs a little more work though.
I like the dark aspect of the film. Your examples give a good explanation of what you are trying to go for.
I like your script man, it's edgy, dark, and at times confused (like your main character). It fits together quite well and I feel the message will be much easier to decipher after the MUSIC is added. I agree with Jesus that the stylization of your film shouldn't interfere with the emotion that you're communicating, but I think clever editing should be able to sidestep this debacle.
Your FMJ is quite thorough and helps show the overall tone you are setting. It might also prove beneficial to add an extremely light and positive portion into the script to contrast the dark, brooding mood that comes through now. Either way, good stuff.
Hey Turbo,
ReplyDeleteI'm still not fully sold on the script. However, at this point it may be a matter of taste, to quote Collis. I think you're dialogue is still abit forced at times. However, I'm glad you filled out more of the journal. I honestly believe with some tweaks this script good lend to a great film. I know out everyone you can definitely pull off a great horror, slasher genre piece. Hopefully, you're casting goes well. You're actors will be extremely important for this to work.
Have you casted yet? It would be beneficial if you brought the casting tapes to class, I'd like to see you're process, also class feedback may help.
ReplyDeleteTurbo,
ReplyDeleteI see you kept the same script, and I agree with Liz. I know that it's hard to make changes but honestly I think you should consider some of the previous feedback. Nonetheless, I do believe you have a solid vision for what you want to do. After looking over your journal, I think you are really sure of what the look of the movie is and what you want your characters to look like. Your constant example of fight club and the saw movies, makes me believe that you are aiming for a highly stylized movie. However, I think you have to remember your goal of making your audience feel excited and then scared in the end as it says in your FMJ. I think that using these elements of cinematography can possibly cause your audience to not feel those emotions, but rather make your audience feel as if saying "what the heck is up with that dude?".
I am in the same boat as Jesus and Liz I am not fully sold, but it is just like I said before it will all be determined based on execution. I mean just because i am not sold doesnt mean that it cant be a great film, but i feel like i said before that the film is standing on a sharp edge and if done correctly could be brilliant but if not could be a major catastrophe. Seeing as how you have basically decided what you want to do at this point i would just say plan wisely and thoroughly, and also remember how important proper casting and not doing adr are going to be to this film (referencing issues with you directing film).
ReplyDeleteTurbo,
ReplyDeleteLooking at your FMJ, I can definitely see what you are going for and if you can pull that off I think that your short could be pretty good, but I think it is going to take the combination of the script, the production design and cinematography to really make this short come alive. Your script still needs a little more work though.
I like the dark aspect of the film. Your examples give a good explanation of what you are trying to go for.
Keep up the good.
Turbo,
ReplyDeleteI like your script man, it's edgy, dark, and at times confused (like your main character). It fits together quite well and I feel the message will be much easier to decipher after the MUSIC is added. I agree with Jesus that the stylization of your film shouldn't interfere with the emotion that you're communicating, but I think clever editing should be able to sidestep this debacle.
Your FMJ is quite thorough and helps show the overall tone you are setting. It might also prove beneficial to add an extremely light and positive portion into the script to contrast the dark, brooding mood that comes through now. Either way, good stuff.
-Neal